There are many cliches I didn't full understand until I became a mother myself.
"Sleep when the baby sleeps"
"Having a child is like having your heart walk around independently from your body"
"Time goes so quickly when they are young"
"They grow so fast"
As Lexi rests in peaceful slumber, I sit and look back over her first 6 months of life with joy, wistfulness and excitement (and I will admit with tears in my eyes). It seems like just yesterday I held my baby girl in my arms for the very first time.
No one tells you that as a brand new mom, you experience a rush of adreneline that allows you to stay awake for basically the first whole week of your child's life. Everything is brand new and exciting, overwhelming, and amazing at the same time. You wonder how something so beautiful and perfect could come from your body and marvel at how your love for someone else could make something so amazing. Again, the cliche of "love at first sight" comes to mind.
Those first few days and week pass in a haze as you learn about this little creature you and your husband have brought into the world. We learn that Lexi likes to be swaddled, will smile early (and for her Oma), likes music and dancing, but hates pacifiers, bottles and sleeping.
Time passes, your visitors go home, your husband goes back to work (much to his great sadness) and it's just you and your lil' one. Days are filled with books, walks, cooing, laughing, tummy raspberries, dirty diapers, spit up, breastfeeding, and piles upon piles of dirty laundry. Sometimes if we are lucky, a nap or 2 happens. Every day is very much the same, but yet vastly different. Some days pass in the blink of an eye. Other days I start watching the clock at 3pm waiting for my dear husband to get home so I can have a break.
Lexi has learned so many things over her first six months. She is already sitting, creeping, eating and gaining weight like a champ, babbling, and cut her first teeth. Doug and I have spent so many sleepless hours worrying about every minor little thing that first time parents worry about - I even dragged poor Lexi to the doctor when she was 5 weeks old, only with her to be diagonsed with a bad case of baby acne. I was sick to my stomach over her first set of shots (less so with her second), her first food, her belly button stump, the shape of her head, her putting things in her mouth that, oh horror of horrors, had touched the floor for 3.2 seconds. And the list goes on. You worry about the timing, consistency and frequency of bowel movements, length (or in our case absence) of her naps, the warmth of her clothes and pjs, the temperature of her bath water. Basically you work yourself up over every possible little thing that could ever go wrong, usually at 4am when you are waiting for her to wake up and feed again for the 3rd time that night. You never imagined that you could worry so much and sleep so little. And you would do it over and over again in a heartbeat. You know with absolute certainty that you would lay down and die if required for your child. It is a frightening power th
at rules your life, yet gives it the greatest meaning.
I read somewhere once that motherhood (and fatherhood I'm sure Doug would agree) is the hardest job you will ever love. I couldn't imagine a truer statement. It's much harder than any 9-5 I've ever held. There are no breaks (well, maybe if your child naps regularly, which mine doesn't), you are on call 24/7, you get peed on, spit up on, pooed on, you give up your body (and boobs) for almost 2 years, and there is no monetary compensation. That being said, I can't every possibly imagine a more rewarding aspiration in one's life than to raise a child. Instead of being paid in money, I'm paid in smiles, giggles (and soon hugs, kisses, and "I love you's") and the ability to watch my girl grow and learn new things every day.
As we round the corner and head towards Lexi's first birthday, there are so many things to look forward to - crawling, talking, maybe even walking, her first Christmas. Stay tuned - I can't wait.
